why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

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What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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what's purple and tastes like a grape? a grape.

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A man walks into a bar.

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NEVER

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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why did the little boy cry about his dog, it was hit by a train.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd have thought one of them would have seen it.

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A man named Jack has three kids. The oldest is named Jordan, the middle one is named Kim, and the youngest is named Alex. One day Jordan walked up to his father and asked him how his day was. His father replied, "It was fine."

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Knock Knock Who's there? St. Judes St.Judes who ? St.Judes Research Hospital calling. Give me money, I've got cancer kids dying

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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Q: How many black guys does it take to black top a driveway? A: I can't give you a definitive answer unless I know the area to be covered, the thickness of material to be applied, and the capabilities of each individual working that particular day.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

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what did the little boy get from santa claus on christmas? nothing santa isnt real

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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Why did the homeless man not get any ice cream from the store? Because he was not very bright and didn't try in school. Therefore he couldn't find a job or get his job back at the janitor at Go-Mart. This proves that not doing your school work correct can really effect your future. Plus they was sold out of chocolate.

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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When is Florida not the sunshine state? At night.

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What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

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An iman, a rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. It's not the same bar. They feel uncomfortable mixing together and this makes me sad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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