Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?!?

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why didnt the old man go to his sons birthday he died.........nah i lied he went went

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What did the elephant say to the whale? Nothing, neither can talk and they live in very different biomes.

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After thinking hard for a very long time, the pig realized he was a fat, worthless piece of shit.

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Why does Santa Clause not have children? Because he only "comes" once a year

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

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Hot Lady: What do you do for a living? Guy: Phosphorus, Oxygen, and Radon. Hot Lady: So you are a chemist? Guy: Think again! Think about Acronyms... Hot Lady: OPRa, so Opera correct? Guy: (Obviously talking to a Blonde) P, O, Rn Hot Lady: So, you are a chemistry teacher! Guy: (Sighs to himself thinking how PORn relates to chemistry. Which it does in biochemistry, but he does not know that).

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Why can no one in africa read or write? I would asume the lack of public education combined with the fact that setting up an education system for so many widespread remote comunities would be a logistical nightmare. But then again I have never been to africa and know little about the country and so the premise of this joke is probably a dramatic overstatement in the first place.

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If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

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Why did the man scream? because he was run over.

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I was playing Black Ops online, my wife turned it off in the middle of the game....I killed her

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Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

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Yo mama's fat.

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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Why can't the little girl ride a bike? She has Osteoporosis and falling would shatter her bones.

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Finishing the wheelchair.

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It depends on the person. To generalize and select one sport to represent the entire race would be stereotyping.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because your a fag.

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Q. How many puns does it take to make a cup of tea? A. None. A pun is a grammatical construct and as such is incapable of combining the ingredients necessary to generate a hot drink which has been popular for hundreds of years.

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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whats better than holocaust...911 cardiac?

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock-eater.

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Why did the Dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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