Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas. A: A bicycle.

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What do you call a homosexuall man? Homosexuall man.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick!

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10+10=20. 20+20=40 40-10=30 I have 2 penises.

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heat!

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Whats the difference between a black man and a paraplegic? A paraplegic doesn't walk out on his family

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How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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Why are Jewish men curcumsized? Because Jewish women wont put their hands on anything that's not 20% off

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Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum.

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what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

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A programmer, and engineer and an accountant meet up for an after work drink. Afterwards they go home to their separate apartments and think how socially inadequate they are.

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I was so fat I went on a diet

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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A white man, hispanic man, and a black man walk into a bar together. They order cokes.

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Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

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How do you get Doctor Phil in a bikini? Give him a little alcohol to ease inhibitions and offer him a suitable bribe.

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your mothers so fat...... shes borderline diabetic.

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If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

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My momma's so ugly she had to get plastic surgery. Now I need it.

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Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

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What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

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What did Helen Keller say when she got raped? Stop raping me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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