How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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you and your family will die tonight

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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When a suicide-bomber went to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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Why little Susie often molested as a child? She was probably a good-looking child.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKY’S. PRETTY MUCH USELESS BUT MAKE YOU SMILE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN THE STAIRS. Source: http://www.pingzic.com/funny-whatsapp-status-to-make-others-laugh/

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What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Certainly not Sally

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Why was timmy in the well? He had autism.

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Q:What do you call a bird with wings? A:A bird -Ryan Vallee

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this is not a joke

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by black guys? -Steve Nash

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What did the blind kid say to his dad Nothing , his dads dead

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Why did the blonde fall off the cliff? She was blind and deaf so she never knew where to go, and her parents kicked her out for her problems. It is a sad situation that noone wants to go through

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Whats the difference between a field of corn and a dead body? The field of corn wasn't killed by severe blood loss and hemorrhaging after it was stabbed in the back, stomach and abdomen 27 times in 1987, where the escaped convicted serial killer buried it beside a river in Northern Dakota.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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How do you break up a fight between two blacks I have ADD and Im proud of it

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What do Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen have in common? They are both celebrities.

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Hey, what’s your problem? I’m a Catholic whore currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works in a military abortion clinic. So, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam. a.w. j.p.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase as a chicken its intulect this very low so walking in the middle of the street was it's 1st instest. Ther'for it crossed the road and made it to the other side safe. Now please don't ask me a stupid question like that again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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