What is the difference between a cow and a human? A lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

have you heard of the new german microwave? it seats about 30

thumb_up thumb_down +36

So, there's a lion loose in Colchester. Should've gone to Specsavers... [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +36

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed, one fell off and bumped his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "He has a mild concussion."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the Chinese man have a cat in his oven? Because his wife had decided to divorce him that day so he threw he in the oven, and the cat happened to be in her arms at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the jewish man pick up a nickel on the street? Because he understands the value of saving money.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man walks into a car. And drive's off.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the wee boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you drown a blond? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the black man say to the mexican? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red violets are blue we're stuck together like superglue roses go brown violets go darker cut the crap and the stupid laughter...I just went through a breakup

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is the anwer to life? (>^v^ )> KIRBY DANCE

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why couldn't 7 multiply itself by 18? Because there were two people having sex in between them.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your momma's so fat that she is at risk for heart disease and diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops