Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

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What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

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whats worse then girls playing sport ? girls cutting grass

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a man made a beautiful colorful picture and hit print. the printer then grew a mind of its own and did the most horriffic and evil thing ever; he printed it in black and white.

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Hi my name is Lisa Hi Lisa my name is Karen. Nice to meet Karen Likewise...

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Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

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knock, knock who's there owls owls who thats right owls who

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whats brown and sticky? shit

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Pineapple.

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A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

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It smells like triangles in here.

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me Ben. You just told me to come over. We are going jogging aren' we? Oh ya, sorry. I forgot the time. Is it cold out? Ya, it is pretty cold. You should bring a jacket. Ok, let me go get my jacket. Alright, can u grab me a water please? Ya sure. Thankyou.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

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your mama so fat she should go see a doctor.

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And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

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what is the difference between Stephani and a whale? A whale is skinnier... get the harpoonns

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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There once was a baby named Paul Bunyan who was as big as a house. His mother died at childbirth.

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Why do we learn about the Civil Rights Movement in History class? So it won't happen again.

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How did the blonde die? Frogs teleported from the future and brutally murdered her with forks.

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What is the difference between ashes and a jew? A lot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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