Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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im jacob, i have as much hair on my penis as mr macs head.....none.

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What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.

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A black guy and a mexican guy are in a car, Who's driving. A policeman.

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(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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How do you stop a train? You don't, unless your the conductor in which case you would hit the brake.

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What do a fish and a frog have in common? They can both live in water. Its a well known fact.

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If you're happy and you know it go to hell.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Im Black And I Will Beat You Children At Checkers,They Can Be Red

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"knock knock" "Come in"

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Why couldn't the black man swim He never learned how.

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Q: A jew and asian and a normal white guy walk into a resturan, who orders the cheapest meal. A: the Asian, its 1940 and the jews dead

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer, the other one's a watermelon.

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Two men walk into a bar. You think the second man would have seen it.

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One day a child goes to the doctor and says, "it hurts when do this" as he pokes his throat. The doctor, after several well-performed deep tissue testing, diagnosed the child with stage four esophageal cancer. The child cried himself to sleep that night.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? His health was dwindling ever since he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer several years ago and this looked like the end.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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You ask a German how long it takes to go from Berlin to Amsterdam. He replies, ''About four hours by tank."

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Why did the man follow the law? He didn't want to get arrested

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I just can't stand sitting down!

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Yo mamas so fat We are all concerned for her health

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full house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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