Life is like a box of chocolates. Well...not really no. It's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' Thats fantastic for Peter Piper

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between a blonde and a blow up doll? The blonde is a person, you sexist asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A tightly dressed woman walks up to a man and asks if he wants a good time they go out for dinner and have a lot in common and agree to meet again in the near future

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the boy cry when he got circumcised? Because he couldn't fap.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a mexican driving a plane? Well.. nothing because you can't drive plane's but if a Mexican man was able to FLY a plane, he would be a pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Girl : What's a anti joke ? Boy : it's you .

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the elephant fall on the marshmallow? Because he didn't want to fall in the hot chocolate!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

i ate and i ate and i was sick on the floor 8x8=64

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the woman buy peanut butter and a puppy? Her husband just died. She was trying to fill the void in her soul with junk food and companionship.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why could the boy not stop shaking? He has Parkinsons Syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

roses are red violets are blue i have a big dick unlike you

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q. what do you call a black guy? A. N IGGER

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know where I am, I'm blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Ramsey fall off the seesaw? Because while he was playing with friends on a seesaw at a nearby Country Club, a very angry and insane man who had many handicaps, decided to solve his problems by killing someone. A funeral was held a week later.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a fat old hobo named da'shovant'e ate a bucket of fried chicken then killed a little girl named poopface McFergusen

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops