- Anti Joke

What do you call a man who buys flowers, chocolates, and new jewelry for his wife? A kind, considerate husband.

Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

What did the disabled boy get on Christmas morning? Cancer.

Rishi is a funny guy, well he thinks he is. true story.

What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

why do elephants eat peanuts? so they can save the wrappers for valuable prizes

How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

Where did Suzy go during the bombing? Everywhere

Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

2 persons in an elevator then, one guy says: dude! smells like your sister! and the other guy is not there

Yo mommas so fat... that when it was rainning, she put on her rain coat and went outside, everyone was saying that the sun came up

Jesus Christ dude. Wait, aren't you Jewish?

An orange walks into a bar....orange you glad I didn't say banana?!?!

what do you get when you cross a scotsman who doe'snt know anything about football,and a indian who doe'snt anything about football .blackburn rovers , and a good night out.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

shauns beautiful

Knock Knock Sorry, I'm in a full body cast and can't answer the door.

What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

Me-Whats long and hard and full of seaman Him-a submarine Me-No dumb ass a dick

How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.