What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? The black man has a family of four and is working 12 hours a day at a minimum wage job to afford the high rent, the utility bills, and to buy the pizza to feed his family.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he found a crosswalk with a walk symbol near his destination.

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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I just can't stand sitting down!

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Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

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This is not an anti joke.

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What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

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What would you call the fatty cranial mass surrounding a malignant tumor? Ted Kennedy's Head.

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer we're both lawyers

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What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

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So a guy walks into a bar. Ouch. It was a gay bar.

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How do you get a hot blonde to do your laundry? At knife point.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: "How does a monkey hide in a jungle?", A:"Paint its balls red and sit in a cherry tree" , Q:"What is the loudest noise in the jungle?", A: "A native picking cherries"

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What did the japanese man say to the other Japanese man? I like your eyes.

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I got a dig bick. You that read wrong, You read that wrong too.

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Why did the black man cross the road? Black people don't exist.

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What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was feeling suicidal due to an existential crisis.

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Why was a group of children being driven away by a black man? Michael was the students bus driver, he was taking them to the zoo.

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An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

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whats the difference between a black guy and and an asian person... who cares kill them both

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How do you get a bird off the roof you throw an ax at it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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