e4ryka mcgyuire rode stephanie sinnott

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They were baked until the baker them until they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. He values his privacy and will not tell me his motives.

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How do you mess with Helen Keller? Move all the furniture in her room.

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Luke Hardie is G@Y

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Roses are blue violets are red I think I'm getting drunk get me to my van

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what did the lawyer say to the doctor? hello.

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Q: What happened to the dead baby? A: It was Buried

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what's brown and sticky? A stick

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a sailor went to his G.P to see if he had HIV turned out he had hepititis C

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Why did the white girl fuck the mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an "essay"

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How many dead babies can you fit in a mini? It is variable according to the size of each baby.

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What was the Latino man doing on my laptop? He was my friend and he had asked me first. He was also ordering a computer on amazon for himself.

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Three men of different race and religion are on a plane; they enjoy their flight, and two of them have a good meal with no pork. Thirty years later, two of the men share the same flight, but failed to even recognize each other on the first.

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Why did the boy want to commit suicide? Because he didn't want to die.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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A young gay man comes out of the closet to his conservative, Christian parents. Everything went better than expected.

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In Soviet Russia, it is the largest country in the world. A lot of the parts are uninhabitable though.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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