What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

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How do you find a date? Look on the calendar!

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Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

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Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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Little girl and a pedofile walk into the woods at night. Little girl says, "mr pedofile im scared" pedofile responds " you think your scared? i have to walk out of here alone."

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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What happens when you choke a smurf? Nothing, smurfs aren't real.

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What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple? I don't cum on an apple before I eat it.

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Pinus Testicles

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What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not having an apple to find a worm im

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do want to hear a joke? Women's rights

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What did your last slave die of? Terminal Cancer

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What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

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What is less sanitary than eating food off of the ground? Anal sex.

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What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

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What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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