If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

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What has 2 wheels and looks like a bike? A bike.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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Yo mama so old, she must take arthritus medicine to keep out of extreme pain.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Interrupting Doctor Interru--- You Have Cancer...

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Brenda said she found a pill to stop the effects of aging! It was a cyanide pill, Brenda is dead.

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What do you call white people on a bench? NBA What do you call black people on a bench? RTA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

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a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

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One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops