Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

thumb_up thumb_down +13

sky silverstein

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner [but certainly not a redneck!], a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uraguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamanian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47-53 Africans walk into a fine restaurant. Fortunately," said the snooty maître d', "we'll let you come in without a Thai.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my Tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why wasn't the elephant allowed to the pajama party? Because he didnt have any pajamas.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=1&ved=0CAsQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fhomepage.eircom.net%2F~cronews%2Felep%2Felep.html&ei=1aAjVMrJJcePoQS99ILADg&usg=AFQjCNEy4qvnhug3LTGYLGylpoRhxjk_zg

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops