what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down -14

while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Jerry: Hi what's your name? Bob: My name is bob. Jerry: Bob, nice to meet you, my name is Jerry. Bob: Nice to meet you Jerry.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops