Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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a

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

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What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Q. what is your favorite food? A. Chicken, burritos, sandwich, rice, hot dog, turkey, duck, carrot, broccoli, eggplant, apple, blueberry, pear, raspberry, blackberry, orange, grapes fries, chips, cheese, pretzels, worms, and candy canes.

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greetings ZOE. WHAAA BANNANNAS ROCK MAH WORLD. WHY DID THE TRAIN CRASH? ....BECAUSE THE CONDUCTOR WAS A PIECE OF CHEESE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WELL LOVE YA CHICAS. PEACE AND BLESSINZ. SALUTATIONS, isabel.

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Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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yo momma so fat dora couldn't even explore her!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops