Why did John get hard? He froze to death

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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Q-What did the blonde say when I stomped on her toe? A: asdfsdflsdrfjkofweønaweøiofioawef, .Would you be ever so kind to move your foot as it is currently in a position of where it causes my nerves to send pain impulses to my brain. Thanks

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

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Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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why was the little boy sad he found out he had breast cancer

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers, If you do find one, what`s your plan?

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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