Why was the girl crying? She prolapsed.

why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk

Yo mama's so fat she got baptized in Sea World.

What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

96

Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

What did god say when a black person was born? Damn I burnt one

You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

What did Osama Bin Laden say to Hitler? Nothing, because they clearly never made contact with each other, owing to the fact that Osama was born approximately 13 years after Hitler had committed suicide

What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

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What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

If gluttony is a serious sin, why are so many Christians fat? Because they have bad eating habits.

How do you turn that frown upside down? You move many muscles in your face.

A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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