Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because its owner was neglecting him and the kitten later died of malnurisment

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock. READ THE DAMN SIGN IT SAYS NO SOLICITORS!!! ... yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the woman say to her abusive husband? You're hurting me.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, because they have turned to alcoholism because there is no God. GO COMMUNISM, BOO AMERICA.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A chicken walked into the bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Mom mom momie mom mom mom mom momie mother mother. What! Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops