There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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My mom

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Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

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What happened when the 16 year old told her mother she was pregnant? Her mother was extremely disappointed that her daughter did not stay faithful to an abstinent life but eventually became proud of the fact that she would soon be a grandmother.

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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A black duck walks into a bar. Duck: "I'll have a beer." Bartender: " How you paying for that?" Duck: "Put it on the tax payers."

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A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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Have you heats about the Guy who's parents died in à car crash... No He killen himself because of hus parents Deathstars

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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