Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and way, along came a spider who sat there beside her and asked, "Hey bitch what's in the bowl?"

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Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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What does an Israeli gun sound like? Jew, jew, jew, jew, jew

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what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

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What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

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What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

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Your mums a potato

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I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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