Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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What's the difference between a radio and a bowl of potato salad? If you put batteries on a radio you can turn it on and listen to some music. If you put batteries on a bowl of potato salad it's not gonna give you any music.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

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what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Two blonds walk into a building....they couldnt see it.

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What did the oak tree say to the pine tree? Nothing tress dont speak regardless of the kind.

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People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

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What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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