Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Today I wanted to make world peace.... So I killed everyone.

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I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

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How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be. He could not be. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. He's either in great danger or has a psychological disorder.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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Where did the little boy go on vacation? His mother's funeral.

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? You reading another one of these again?

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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