Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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Yo mamas so fat she hates her life and the example she sets for her children.

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How do you get five black men in a car? You offer them a good deal, then show them the car fax.

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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civil rights

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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Cheese

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How old are you? 7

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What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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