Justin Bieber

Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

what did eric foreman get for christmas? a foot in his ass.

Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

What did the statue say to the other statue? stat-you?

What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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