Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

Roses are red, and many other colors too.

what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

Koolaid is red, Poweraid is blue, Gatorade is yellow, My urine is brown... looks like i have a bladder infection.

What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

A working black man, Santa, and the Easter Bunny where walking down the street and find a penny, who picks it up? The working black man, Santa and the Easter Bunny take no payment for their work.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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