Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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What did the rabbit buy the Jewish duck for Hanukkah? Nothing, animals don't celebrate holidays.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Why did he? NO I LOST THE CHICKEN Later: Knock knock Who's there The chicken

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Whats worse than the dole. The SRC!!!

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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The boy asks his dad if he can make him a sandwitch The dad reply's " no thats your moms job"

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edmond alward. handyman services. call 0858430803.

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haha

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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What did Tiger Woods say when his wife hit him with a golf club? "Why did you hit me with a golf club".

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a double whiskey. The bar man says "what's with the long face"? The horse replies "My wife left me, took the kids with her, took everything, I'm devastated"

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Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

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A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

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Your mother is so ugly that I removed her from my friends list on Facebook.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

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Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

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Guest what in the butt

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What do you do if you find blood in your poo? Stop stabbing yourself in the arse with a fork on wednesdays...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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