what's the difference between a lion and an ostrich? they are both birds, a part from the lion

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the elephant say to the naked man? "Cute, cute, but can it pick up peanuts?"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

thumb_up thumb_down -22

josh roberts makes nuns hang themselves

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Robert Dupra getting a girlfriend.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

thumb_up thumb_down -38

One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Doctor I have a headace! The doctor was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops