Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

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What's the difference between a portuguese widow and a llama? One is a portuguese widow and the other isn't.

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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Why did little Lynn fall of her bike? Because she has no legs.

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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Why did Jerry Sandusky rape little boys? Because his penis was hard and he needed to get his nut off quick

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

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A black man, a mexican man, and a caucasian man, walk into a bar with handguns. The three break out into a gun fight and everyone is killed in the cross-fire

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

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Knock Knock Fuck off. I am new here. I do not know anyone here.

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Friends are a lot like trees I just thought you should know.

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attached to a bomb filled with spoons

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Happy Monday!

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops