What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

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You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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whats the diferrence between a bush and an old lady? it be wierd if a bush had an old lady.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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Do you play piano? No

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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Where would canada be without nature? still here

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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