The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

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no

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whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

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Why was the girl running? She had to catch her bus.

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

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If Chuck Norris were to be hit by a train he would die

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What's upside down? umop apisdn

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

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What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

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What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

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A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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