A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Anti jokes are stupid Anti jokes are dumb I'm a pedophile, You better run.

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what is white on top and black on bottom Society What is black on top and white on bottom Rape

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What animal wouldn't you want to play games with? Probably none of them. They are animals and incapable of playing board games.

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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Is it closer to Minneapolis, or by bus?

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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Say you are caught in a net with 10 other people in said net at a construction site. A pair of scissors are right next to you and everyone said to use the scissors. But instead of using the scissors, you use your teeth in risk of a broken tooth.

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how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Why so serious ?

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What page are you on The gay page.

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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Why did nobody like Anne? She was disabled

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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