You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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What do you get when a sister and a brother have sex? A deformed child.

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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What do you call hunter ? An anerexic that is skinny as a tooth pick. Duh

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

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Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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deez nuts

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How do you keep the crime rate down in a black neighborhood? Blow everybody up all at one time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops