Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

A rapist walks into a bar He orders a drink He wakes up the next morning naked on a hot chick He leaves not realizing that he is nude and is promptly escorted by the police to jail

Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

How do you confuse a bar tender? You ask him how tender he is.

Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

Cripples are lame.

What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

What's big and white and wilbkill you if it falls from a tree? My dick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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