What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Urine is yellowish and shit is usually brown... That's it, I was just remembering the colors of some stuffs

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Did you hear what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in spring training.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

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What did the businessman do to get a promotion? He traded oral sex for his male bosses kind heart...

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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Why did the catfish cross the road? Catfish can't walk.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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2 * 2 * 2 * 3 * 2417

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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What did the alien say to the other alien? It's hard to say. They could use an inefficient form of aural analog communication, or a hyper-advanced form of telepathy. Either way, modern science hasn't brought us far enough to determine.

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops