Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Why did the boy fall off the swing?

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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What did the the water hose say to the man? Nothing, but the sight of water made the man thirsty and he drank to excess and died from dilution of his blood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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