Dane Cook makes a joke.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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Yo mama is so ugly that she won an award for that

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Jackie Chan walks into a bar.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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A priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar. He orders a drink.

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What did the little calculator grow up to be? Nothing

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Knock, Knock Whos There, Jews, Jes who, Whould you like some jews with that.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for Christmas? The sweet, merciful release of death at the hands of his father, who had been struggling with the emotional and financial drain of raising a severely disabled child for many years. It was only a matter of time before the man snapped, as he was a single parent working twenty hour days, seven days a week, to just barely cover all the medical bills that the specialists and therapy incurred.

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What did the baby say to the man? Babies can't talk ,the baby did not say anythingto the man!

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Why did the most interesting man in the world refuse to eat his buttered toast? It just so happens that the cook accidentally used stale bread, causing it to taste unsatisfactory.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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telll someone to ask u if u are a tree then say nooooooo

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting stabbed.

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If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn the people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? cause he had mad-cow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican Cross the road? He was on His way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was walking to his car, racist....just kidding, he was on his way to rob a bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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