What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

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there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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you will like this because i am black.

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In the movie Sherlock holms, why is Sherlock Holms gay?? --------------Because he is chasing "blackwood"

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

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Why did Rudolph poop while flying over Chicago? Actually, he had to go since trip started, and that's just where it happened to land.

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There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

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two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

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what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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What do you call two spaniards talking in French. Bilingual.

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

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Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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