Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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Want to here a joke? Me to...

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A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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Ross.

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Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic insomniac that stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog?

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hola said the chinese man

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What dod the boy with no arms get or christmas? Nothing he can't open them!

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Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

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I dunno, I dont grade love, I want to see you, touch you, bang you (sorry for not having the guts to use a nicer word, but I am tired and that is what I have in me now) And while that makes me sound like some hippy, I am very fucking picky about who I spend time with, and when. And I got no male friends, waste of time, why spend time with guys when I can spend time with chicks. Excuse me, just need my meds, speaking of sincerity, yeah I use medications, wont tell you what, but its well, not for my "mental disorders" I was born crazy, and I am going to die like I live: INSANE.

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homosexual rights to marriage

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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meatspin.fr

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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