why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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Why did the girl eat a sandwich? because she was thirsty

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

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Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

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this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

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Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

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Why doesn't Batman exist? Because he was made up.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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A young black guy was explaining how he was raised by a single mother

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How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops