Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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So a man walks into a bar, right?

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

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what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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