Last week, one of my ex girlfriends called me. She said she had to tell me some bad news. "I don't know how to tell you this but I have AIDS. I really didn't know how to reply to that so I said the only thing I could say. "Yeah, I know."

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all seriously concerned about her health.

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Mamma why did the kids make fun of me today? I dont know.

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Read This line it the tune of "If your happy and you know it" If you're reading this, Do your homework. Sincerely, Your Teacher

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What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

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You know what's cool? Yep.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream. Because he got hit by a bus

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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What do you call Madeline McCann at the bottom of the sea? Drowned Madeline McCann.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

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Whats worse then any minority? The fact they still exist.

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Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

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why did the boy loose his job.... because he was only 14,dont know how he got it in the first place Chuckles

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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What do you get when you breed a dog and a cat together? A call from the RSPCA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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