Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

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Q:why did the guy go to the doctor? A:I dunno, he must have gone for a good reason

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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Why did they bury the indian at the top of the hill? Because he was dead.

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Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

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42

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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WHATS FASTER THAN INTERNET BUSTA RYMES

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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a black guy walks into a bar and sits next to a white guy. White guy: "I don't like your kind here". Black guy: "what kind wound that be"? White guy: "the colored kind". The black guy turns away then looks back at the white guy and says", When I'm born I'm black, when I die I'm black, When I'm cold I'm black, and when I'm sick I'm black. You ( to the white guy ) when your born your pink, when you die your blue, when your cold your purple, and when your sick your green and your calling me colored???

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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This is Mr.Bear you all are on rtc for the next week. See me in G7 NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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