"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

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What's the difference between Micheal Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Micheal Jackson has never been on the moon, Neil Armstrong never had plastic surgery and Micheal was a pop star.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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Guess what? I like trains.

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69...you know how awkward this is now...

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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I don't have friends, so I'm anti-social.

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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Your mom is so ugly, she suffers from severe depression and regularly contemplates suicide.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Q:John has 50 candy bars and he eats 45, what does john have? A: Diabetes

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Tony Romo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops