What's 9+10? 19

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Gods like Santa one day you'll get to the age of reason and see how dumb you were

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

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What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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What happens when you give a guinea pig a cherry? He turns into satan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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