- Anti Joke

What do you call a guy sleeping with little boys? Michael Jackson

Q:What is your maturity on a scale of 1 to 100? A:69

Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

What's the difference between a bench and a mexican? A bench is an inatimate object that people sit on and a mexican is a person of mexican descent

What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

What does the homosexual arab who plays football who has a best friend called Dave enjoy doing? Playing football.

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

antijoke is the best website.

What do you do if you are locked inside a car with a baseball bat? Unlock the car

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

Allah walked into AK Bar

Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

A white man walks into an elementary school. He was the teacher.

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Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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