A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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What are astronauts called in Soviet Russia? Cosmonauts

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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Roses are red Violets are blue Everyone on antijoke that steals what I write go to hell My toaster has down syndrom.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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a man was walking out side to get the news paper what happened next he picked up the newspaper

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H2O." The second man, quite thirsty, says "I would like some H2O too." The second man dies because the bartender is a serial killer and gave the man the hydrogen peroxide he ordered. The first man is killed with a shovel.

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What's the difference between Timmy and a car? Timmy can be brutally murdered.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Disreguard Females Aquire Currency

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have to go to the bathroom now...

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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