Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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How are this and that alike? They aren't.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Yo momma so ugly, she makes french people say "you are ugly" in whatever language they speak.

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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Guess what what?? chicken butt!!!!!

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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