Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

Why was the little girl sad? She had a grown man sexually assault her.

What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

Why did the girl fall off the swings? She had no arms

What's worse than a kid with a big head? Nothing you just look weird like Austin

Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

what did the doctor say to another doctor? we are doctors

Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? A black man eating fried chicken.

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume

How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

What do you call a someone who steals from a black guy? A thief.

What follows 2 days of rain? Statistically more rain, but you'll have to check the weather report to be sure.

Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

like if your cool

What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

Why did the black man die? He was shot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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