How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

Why couldn't the mentally retarded kid hear? It was too dark.

A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

Paul was mowing his lawn when he felt a bump. It turned out it was a bunny. Paul felt bad but the bunny felt worse

Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

it was all Tagart

Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

Hey you know what? What? Never mind.

I've got a great new 'Knock Knock Jock

A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

Bang Bang Get the hell out of the house, it's on fire.

How do you punish Helen Keller You don't, she's dead

Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

what's worse than waiting 45 minutes in an amusement park ride? getting your penis chopped off.

Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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