A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

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why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

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Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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