What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She technically could have, she was physically able, but cars were not invented yet, and even if they were it is unethical for any humane person to let a blind and def person drive.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

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What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

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A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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Timmy's mom is an alcoholic. His dog is asleep in the backyard. Timmy asks his mother, "Why is our dog sleeping?" His mother replies, "It's not sleeping, its dead."

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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