- Anti Joke

A man walked into a room and said to his friend, "I am about to show you something amazing." He claps twice and the lights turn on. He is using a device called The Clapper made by Joseph Enterprises, Inc. using advanced technology that was patented in 1985.

Why didn't my marriage work out? Because I married a tangerine.

You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

What happens when two Mexicans walk up to blonde and a red head sitting in car? The Mexicans attempt to smash the windshield with crowbars because they have issues with anger. The redhead turns on the car and reverses safely.

What happens to an elephant when it rains? It gets wet.

What happens when a Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. He gets a broken nose.

I went to a restaurant, but after I ate the food felt sick, then I remembered that I ordered penis with cum Popsicles so I knew it couldn't be the food

A man goes to the potty.

Whats sorer than stubbing your toe? Stubbing your toe twice

It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

roses are red violets are blue i have no money could i have some

What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

There was a black person running down my street. He was celebrating because he just graduated from Harvard University.

Haha, I get it..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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