What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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In Soviet Russia, there was a movement to be renamed into the Russian Federation, which passed on December 25, 1991.

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Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He orders a beer with two cubes of ice. The bartender ask why does he want two cubes of ice. The guy doesn't answer. He finishes his beer and proceeds to go home safely because he was not intoxicated.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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3 men in a boat One day there were a American, Mexican, and a Chinese men in a boat. The Chinese man threw over a fortune cookie and said we have to many of these in our country. The Mexican threw over a taco and said we have to many of these in our country. The American threw over the Mexican and said we have to many of these in our country. The End

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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why did the chicken cross the road because on the other side his wife that he had loved for years was being tortured and he was trying to save her life.

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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What's worse then three frogs playing leap frog? Nothing that would be awesome

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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what do a toothbrush and an ice maker have in common? ....They're both in your house.

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops