why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He lost his punch line. -by Ross

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour.

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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That akward moment when you tell a person you like them and they don't respond.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Christmas presents.

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jeff Oh hey Jeff, come on in

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How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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A lady with alzheimers walks up to her friend and says" my nefew died today" and her friend replied.. " no he died three years ago."

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Donald Trump

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A Japanese Nuclear Scientist goes to the swimming pool, and buys a ticket. He went to the changing rooms and proceeded to have a lovely bit of exercise, which helped him burn off the calories from his carbohydrate based luncheon.

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops