why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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Knock Knock. There was no answer.

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How do you kill a squirrel? Take the jaws of life. Rip it in half. And suck on the organs.

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Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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What's funnier than British people ? Their tea in the Harbor

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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'knock knock' 'Who's there?" "the mailman, Ive got mail for you"

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why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What did the white man say to the group of mexicans when a golf ball was coming toward them? 4!

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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What's it called when an abusive alcoholic father iguana has trouble connecting with his wayward teenage drug addict son iguana, while at the same time the mother iguana doesn't come home till late hours and constantly calls her daughter iguana a slut? Reptile Dysfunction.

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What do you call a black man helping an old woman cross the road? A concerned citizen.

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What did the bank clerk say to the robber when he demanded all the money in the drawer? "Okay."

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What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

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What's black, white and red all over? A dead panda

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam...

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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