A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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DO U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD BIRD BIRD, BIRD IS THE WORD? DON'T U KNOW ABOUT THE BIRD? EVERYOBODY KNOWS THAT THE BIRD IS THE WORD! Oh, no i did not know that the bird was the word.

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?' The horse say " i have testicular cancer."

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

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Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies? A: You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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Poop

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what do you call something that dosint exist? nothing.

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops