Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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Why was the little Asian boy crying at the county fair? He had just watched his entire family get brutally crushed beneath the weight of the old ferris wheel as they went to get on. Never would he forget the painful screams of his mother as her blood splashed onto his white t-shirt. Never would he forget the police car ride to the foster home when it all sank in that they were truly gone. And never would he forget the abuse his new parents would inflict on him daily. But what would forever torment him most were those screams. Those persistent screams that woke him in the night until the day he died many, many years later.

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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Why did the man cross the street? Because he had to go work.

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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