You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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Why was Jimi's mom sad? Because Jimi suddenly fell to the floor clenching his neck while saying "I'm Dying!"

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Why did Johnny fall off his bike? His father never taught him how to ride one as he was an abusive alcoholic who abandoned Johnny's mother when Johnny was 3, so he is not very good at riding bikes.

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what is green and red and goes 100 miles per hour? frog in a blender

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how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

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How do you make a sandwich? Go into the kitchen and make a sandwich.

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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How could you tell Adam and Eve wasn't black? ANSWER--YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN. ISSAIAH FROM OHIO YOLO:]

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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What's worse than having a FUPA? The Holocaust

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

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What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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what is my catphrase nothing I am too good to have one

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

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Black people stink of shite!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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