Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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What's red and has four letters? A stop sign

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? - The boy scout comes home from camp.

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Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

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what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

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Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

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Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

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whats gay and american? a gay american

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why does chuck norris not have a middle name? because his parents didn't want him to have one.

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Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

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There was a man driving his truck down a dark road, half way down the road he see's a man walking alone. He stops beside him, winds down his window and says "Oi mate, need a lift"? The man replies "yeah sure, but can i sleep in the back of the truck"? The driver replies "Yeah sure" later on as the man is sleeping he hears a big bang. "what was that" the man asks. The driver says "Don't worry i just hit a cow, go back to sleep". time goes by and he hears another bang. "W-what was that". "Don't worry i just hit a moose, go back to sleep and ill wake you when we arrive". Few moments latter he hears a tick tick bang. He gets up and yells "What was that"? The driver replies "Dont worry mate i just hit a aboriginal" The man replies "What was those two ticks before that"?. The driver says "I had to drive through two fences to hit the bastard"

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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Why did the little boy die? His mother got an abortion...

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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And now a word from our sponsors

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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You know what's good for shoulder pain? If you ice on for 20 minutes then off for 20 minutes repetitively three times a day

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer

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Why was the Jew so happy? He had a good day

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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