How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

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It's raining, its pouring, the old man is snoring. He bumps his head, and is quickly rushed to the ER for serious head trauma

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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Roses are red, Potatoes are yellow, ERMAHHHGERDDD PERRDERRRDERRR

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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pudding

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A: Knock Knock (waits for an answer) oh there's no one in.

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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This isn't funny.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Getting laid at the special Olympics.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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Gay rights.

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What do you call a mailman who doesn't deliver mail? Unemployed

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, but if the ladder is shaky, you might need another to hold it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops