Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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Why was the ghast from minecraft crying? His family died

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What do you call a murderer who killed a black man. kkk

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

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Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Chris is hairy

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Doesn't matter. He was hit by a semi truck.

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What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What do you call a cow who can't produce milk? Utter failure.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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