What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya Who? Dot Com.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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What do you call a white duck? A quacker

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Neil is a reterd.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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if it walks like a duck and looks like a duck your probably looking at a goose

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? You don't, he just jumps down.

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What's big, white, and red all over? A refrigerator that happened to fall on a small child.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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