Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks: "why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus being incapable of comprehending the complexities of conversation said nothing, and shit all over the floor.

It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

What do u call a dumb Asian. An american

A man walks into a bar, the bartender goes why do you have a cane? The man goes "I'm blind."

Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

I want to name my dog Syndrome. Then, when I teach him to sit, I can say "Down, Syndrome!"

Why could'nt Susie talk? The mafia cut out her tounge

A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

What did the boy reading a book do? He finished the book and took it back to library.

What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

What happened to my sunglasses?

What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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