What is the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench is a piece of wood, while the black man is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

thumb_up thumb_down +11

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for his birthday? A bike

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a tree There isn't a tree in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? AIDs then he got mugged on the way home from the hospital

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what's worse than falling and scraping your knee? living within a 10 mile radius of a Japanese nuclear reactor

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The way I see it, you are pretty lucky I am a tough guy, the kind you like. Anyway you where really wondering if I ever refer myself as a boy? Sigh, I mean I AM A BOY! WHAT? WHAT? Savage jokes? What jokes?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What was going through the minds of the Sandy Hook victims? Bullets.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops