Why did the little boy fall off his bike? He was hit by a truck.

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

Why did the black guy smell fried chicken? He had a brain tumour

A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

How do you know when you're on the wrong side of the tracks? You don't. (Wyndellberg)

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I am colorblind because Iam a dog.

Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

Why was Billy no mates? He had no friends.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

What is the difference between a Mexican and an a pile of crap? One is disgusting and unsanitary and the other is a pile of crap.

whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

if you have 5 oranges and 15 ice cubes, how many pancakes can you fit on the roof? red, because aliens dont wear shirts.

How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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