Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Ask me if I'm a truck! Are you a truck?! No.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's brown and sticky? Feces.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the chicken cross the road? who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I'm not saying my mother-in-law is fat, because she is anorexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

three white men are running after a black man,, the black man is winning the race

thumb_up thumb_down +5

so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An Asian girl is playing with a rubber band. She accidentally slings it into her eye, cries, and receives immediate attention from her mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go camping, and pitch their tent under the stars. During the night, Holmes wakes his companion and says: 'Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you deduce.' Watson says: 'Someboby stole our tent.' Holmes and Watson look at each other, shrug and go back to sleep. At least the thief kept their blankets.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops