Jimmy comes home from school one day and goes to his mother. "Mommy, guess what?" "What?" "I had sex with my teacher today!" Naturally after hearing such news the mother gets appalled and tells her husband. "Well, that's my boy" he says "Now that your a man Jimmy we're going to go out and get some drinks tonight be ready in a half an hour." So they arrive at the local bar "Wait here son, you can sit down and save us a table and I'll go get the drinks ok?" "No dad I think I'll stand" "..why? What's the matter son?" "My butt hurts"

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because most living organisms eventually cross some form path that is commonly known as a road. Roads are hard asphalt that is very good for cars and other wheeled road licensed vehicles.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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What do you call a middle ages man driving a van filled with children? Coach.

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

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What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

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What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

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What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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how do you kill chuck norris? you dont, killing is illegal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops