how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is worse then 10 babes nailed to a tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If chuck Norris is so awesome how come he's not at my house slamming my face into the keybodhdtegdudgegdtdjaowpqhwvsmx vxbdnsksksh

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNET! WELCOME TO FÅG! DIE X-FÅGGOT! XD Okay Fagneto`s roll me out of here, I am done with the super important last message to uh... You? No wait that sounds wrong, stop laughing you korean piece of... Seriously sorry I am drugged, you guys put enough valium in me to kill a cow, so please roll me out... I used to have a lot of korean friend you know, but then I killed them for being korea... seriously my fingers magically type shit when I am done, please roll me out of here, and fill that... Kundalini express? Is it me or did this get even more fagneto... Get me out of here now now now no

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the boy lose his change? He had no Pants Why did the boy have no pants? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats bad about being black and jewish they have to sit in the back of the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops