What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

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Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

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Q. how does james bond like his babies A.shaken not stirred but if u think thats bad wait till u see a stirred baby

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

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You are so dumb that you receive poor grades in school.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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knock knock who's there ... '*Opens the door slowly* SUPRISE BUTT SEX!

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That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Q. what did voldemort get for christmas that harry potter didnt? A. dinner with his parents

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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