Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

whats a muslims name with a bomb to his chest Whatever his name is HAHAHAHAHAH

Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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