What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

If life gives you lemonade.

A Jew walking in the street sees a homeless person asking for charity. He reaches to his pocket, grabs a penny, greets her with a nice smile and gives away the penny.

What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

*there was a tv sitting on the side of the road..* person 1: hey why doesn't that tv work? person 2: because it's broken?? person 1: no..because its not plugged in!

What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

Why don't you make like a tree, and get out of here.

How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian quickly picks out such a book and hands it to him, because to deny him the book would break the conventions of a library.

Have you ever been to Uranus? Well I heard it's nice this time of year.

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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