Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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What's blue, orange, and silver all over? Nothing. That's a ridiculous combination of colors.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

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What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

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Gay republicans

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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So Superman walks into a bar right, WRONG, Superman flies into bar

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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Why was the man sad He wasnt i lied

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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