Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

why was 6 afraid of 9? because 7 ate 9 and 6 is afraid of ghosts

Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

how do you know if a fish is gay? you ask it

How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

why did everyone laugh at the kid in the wheel chair as he entered the room? he was poor

I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

An overweight person falls down the stairs.. They had to be taken to A&E as they suffered very serious injuries.

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

Knock Knock.

roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

Man U

What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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