A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Vagina Boob

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Have you heard the one about Tony Hawk's brother Mike? Neither has he, considering Tony Hawk only has a brother named Steve.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Some poems have endings

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is blue and has to deal with a vagina. Blue waffle you know who has that Jews But the jews got it from the gassing and the gassing got it from hitlers wifes piss but the blue waffle came from the lesbian she had sex with when she was doing her lesbian phase but the lesbian got it from her father and the father got it from his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Please ignore this statement.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

thumb_up thumb_down -4

a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was hoping to achieve greater economic prosperity and well-being for his family. penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what draws the line between sex and rape? a pen

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

thumb_up thumb_down -4

"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops