What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

RECTUM? Damn near spelled "Wrecked Him" the wrong way!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

How did i get from Pakistan to Iraq Iran

Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

What did the cannibal say after he ate the clown? I am not sure as the tragic situation occurred while the clown was hiking alone.

roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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