"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is worde then swallowing a slipper? Swallowing a granny to catch the slipper

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why didn't the Ginger love the pretty girl? Her attitude and personality weren't very similar to his so he presumed the relationship wouldn't work out. Uh...........stingray.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? I didn't do it right.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get dislikes on anti-joke.com? You can dislike your own post from several different IP addresses.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops